a birthday on social media

What does one do when Facebook tells you that today is your best-far-away-friend’s birthday? And by far away, I mean really really far? Not just in another continent, but probably in another ‘time and space’? well… you wish him a happy birthday in any case.

My dear friend Doug passed away May 18^th 2014. Some people wanted to know the details, they all asked as we were heartbroken with the news. All I know is that it was in a car crash. I did not want to know more. Why should I. All I cared to know was that he was no longer with us, in this space and time. That I was not to see him in our next trip to Cape Town. That I was not too hear his cheerful ‘howzit’ over a Skype call. I still get all teary thinking of him. I have his photo in my cell phone and every now and then I go back and look into his eyes and his cheerful grin.

Taken from "The Far Side" by Gary Larson

Today Skype also informed me it was his birthday and whether I wanted to ‘give him the gift of birthday calls to mobiles…’ – I wonder if Skype reaches wherever he might be. I wonder if he will be available too. I don’t have Twitter, and I wonder if he did. Otherwise, it may have reminded me of his birthday too.

Social media doesn't understand that he is not around – physically. Social media does not know that although it is a wonderful thing to be reminded of important dates, it is not that easy to be reminded that he would have been 41 today. But what social media does understand is the fact that many of us did wish him a Happy Birthday. Some of us also told him that we do miss him. That we wish he would be around for a chat, for a glass of champagne, for a quick Skype call.

What we do understand is that although he is no longer with us, he is. In another sense. In the good memories. In the good moments shared. Do you remember, Doug...? He probably does, and is grinning right now. Probably forgetting it is his birthday today and looking all nonchalant at all the good wishes. He probably is having a whole heartedly laugh wherever he is, remembering us as fondly as we are remembering him. Cheers Doug, cheers mate. Miss you…

[related entries: Do you remember, Doug? and  Once upon the time]